'Him beat mi because him love mi'....A woman's story of physical abuse

No. 133 Friday, August 27, 2010
By Serena Grant
Editor’s Note — Physical abuse against women has been a topical issue in Jamaica for numerous years and while some women are brave enough to eject themselves from their poisonous relationships, there are those who, regardless of how severe the beatings, ‘stand by their man’. In the article below a young woman speaks of her experiences.

   As soon as she came outside, it was obvious she was the subject of the interview. The short sleeves of her pink blouse revealed bright red welts and bruises on her arms, and her short denim skirt did a poor job of hiding the bruises and scars on her legs.
    She is cautious as she walks towards the table, she looks left then right, before settling at the place she was suppose to sit. That is when the bruises on her face and a hint of a black eye below her pair of stylish sunglasses were spotted.
    She sat gingerly on a nearby chair, and without hesitation, the interview commenced. Twenty-three year- old Peaches* has been in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend Shawn* for the past four years. She smiled fondly as she remembers their first encounter.
    “Mi weh aeh a wah party, when mi see him stand up wid him fren dem a wah coma, den as the night go on, him come ova weh mi deh and start dance wid mi. Wi togeda from dat.”
    She recalled that everything was a fairytale in the first few months, but then one day the Prince Charming mask that Shawn wore morphed into that of a jealous, possessive maniac.
    “One day wi guh a beach and ml si one a man friend dem from high school days, mi tell Shawn seh mi deh guh seh hi and him vex up him face.”
    She did not take his expression seriously, but as soon as she ran and greeted the friend, things got ugly really quickly.
    "All of a sudden, Shawn run come ova weh wi tan up, grab mi neck hard and start lick mi innah mi face.”
    Peaches, in spite of the serious situation, laughed when she recalled her friend’s reaction.
    “Mi fren jus lef, cause him neva know wah fi do.”
    All the while she spoke; Peaches continued to nervously assess her surroundings, staring at each person who passed by.
    When asked if she considered leaving this man, who obviously has severe anger and trust issues, her answer was quick and sure.
    “No sah! Why mi fi lef him? Fi mek wah next gyal come tek ova mi good, good man?” Peaches said, as if she was asked to extract her spleen.
    “Mi love him, and if him neva care bout mi and if mi go lef him, him wouldn’t beat mi.”
    And in one ironic moment, for the first time during the interview, Peaches took off her glasses to reveal her blackened left eye.
    Her friends and family strongly disapproves of Peaches being with Shawn, as he even brazenly abuses Peaches in their presence, but Peaches remains unwaveringly supportive of her man.
    “Cho dem need fi mind dem business, a mi and Shawn problem.”
    When asked whether or not she knew Shawn has been unfaithful, her tone grew haughty,
    “Yes, but mi know dem gyal deh cyah hold him, him always come back, Mirror lady a wah yu deh ask mi seh?”
    Her face, which showed hints of once being attractive, was now just a mosaic of tiny cuts, bruises and scars, was still Contorted with worry as her discomfort continued to show.
    Peaches outlined that she got strict instructions from Shawn to only have cellphone association with some of her friends, as they dissuaded her from being in the poisonous relationship.
    “Shawn seh dem badmind and gwaan like dem betta dan we, suh mi fi nuh too chat up to them and mi agree.”
    The issue of kids came up and Peaches’ eyes shifted uncomfortably.
    “Urn.. .yeah, mi woulda want kids yes, but one time when mi did pregnant, mi and Shawn fight and mi end up lose...”
    Her statement was cut short by the ringing of her cell phone. Peaches nervously answered, her eyes darting with panic as she did so.
    “Yes mi ready... airight, yeah yu can come fi ml...”
    In the blink of an eye, a white Corolla motorcar pulled up at the curb. Peaches sprang from her seat and ran to the passenger side of the vehicle without so much of a goodbye. Her metal, mobile prison sped off, picking up dust as it went.
    Peaches’ fear had made her leave her sunglasses behind as a grim reminder that her situation was real, and she ran back to the arms of a man who has her all to himself as his personal Raggedy Ann.

*names changed for anonymity