[SAV SUSS] Hands Up 'Doc'!

No. 50 Friday, February 05, 2010
Since the death of the medic, Sussing has been rife in Sav that doctors are legal to have a stash on them.

   The Killers were hooked on the substance and subsequently his life was snuffed out for the sake of a ‘high’. We learnt that a peddler who is close to the doc was among those that forced him to depart, he had much more time to give to this town and the medical association, Paper trail has it that the foolish youth turned up at the hospital to take out the broken piece of knife that was lodged in his wrist (isn’t revenge sweet?) our sympathies to his family especially his beautiful forever young wife.
   We hear a purpose dem do, from days gone by when people go missing coupled with the advisories in print and electronic media, why they don’t take heed? No one knows why they decided to make the suicidal trip, repeating history, placing a community, a district and an island in anxiety, we have learnt that the specter of one can be visibly seen walking in his yard and that every night throngs of persons converge at his gates to get a glimpse.
   Because of the many plazas being built in Say, the town is now officially named by its residents as Savannah-plazamar Also 2010 is now called two thousand and spend.
   While we grieve with our neighboring sister island with the massive devastation that recently took place, couldn’t one of our dailies have done better than placing the naked buttocks of a deceased on the front pages?
   Suss has it that by the end of February a media house will be closing its doors in the faces of our townspeople.
   When the pioneer school recently conducted distribution of reports, many students and parents were seen downtown with watery eyes, and outright bawling that the principal placed their children on probation, with the intention that if their grades do not improve by the next term they will have to seek another school as the model school only accommodates individuals who are committed to excellence.
   When the funeral for the dignitary from Say was held down at the pier in the other parish, it was very organized down to the caterers and the band. After the eulogy fake mourners went to the deceased’s house. When the caterers saw them approaching they started serving and instructed the band to commence, after the appetites of the fake mourners were full, the family members accompanied by dignitaries, members of the clergy and the real mourners arrived to discover that food done, there was egg on everyone’s faces but not so much as the members of the bereaved family who invited many dignitaries for the home going service. The caterers did not take too kindly to being tricked by these fake mourners who were heard to be laughing down the hillside that they took Epsom salt and other types of washout to gorge themselves.
   What is the real situation between the guy from hell who bears a heavenly title and to our local excise branch? A vehicle which is parked on the premises bears placards of a livid owner, whose registration plates have been cloned at least five times, causing the vehicle to be seized, increasing debt and money down the drain with no one to give any clearance on the matter.
   We have learnt that due to strong competition and rivalry, rumors are rife that point of sale machines for a particular financial institution can easily be duplicated. A Japer trail with extended tentacles has originated that a miniscule device called ‘a grabber’ is used to capture personal information from ‘near monies’ which is then burnt on a phone, old health and/or bank cards. We have also learnt that unscrupulous persons are placing these devices in the doors of the various automated machines, as a result when a card is swiped for entry; immediate information is stored on these devices. Rumor has it that owing to the fact that these persons are masters at their craft, they have even installed mini cameras in these machines, many of these tricksters have been caught and made to face the penalties imposed on them by our friends on the bench, hence the advisories that are predominant in the print and electronic media by fiscal institutions on how us consumers should protect ourselves and our monies, be it near flat or commodity.

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