[SAV SUSS]:::The Undertaker

No. 133 Friday, August 27, 2010
By Savannah Joe
It is usually us as parents that at times send our children unknowingly to whoredom, but as the Lord called the prophet Hosea and told him to take a prostitute for his wife, then, all is not lost.

   When the Religious Education teacher who dabbles in photography and design arts at the institution in the hills, was boasting recently to the chemist, he should remember that trees and flowers have ears too.
    This tutor was speaking with a renowned dispenser within earshot of customers that he loves his job immensely, as he is the one that picks most of the cherries, sucks the whipped cream and sugar coated icing from the edges of the cakes and lick the cake tins clean. He said most times these children are sent to school without breakfast and lunch money. He was instrumental in the school’s implementation of a breakfast programme with donations from the commercial sector of the wider society. He would act as undertaker for those who were without lunch. As the undertaker he would secure lunches for several adolescents, it would be payback time when they would visit the dark room at opportune times under the guise of developing photos for his ministrations of being the undertaker. He said he preferred the less attractive ones as they were ‘needle eyes’ but unpleasant to look at , while the attractive ones were loose as if they have had numerous children. He further stated that while some of them were reluctant in allowing him to be their undertaker, he would sometimes cajole and humour them for them to part with their prized possessions, He would twist the many bibles verses that they were taught to his advantage and inform them that they were to give generously as the Lord loved a cheerful giver. While some complied and surrendered their all, there are those who remained steadfast in the faith of not yielding, he would then proceed to caress them from the crowns of their heads to the soles of their feet, whispering to them “as the father loves them, he loves them more,’ and that the good book says we were to seek and we would find. All the while sucking the icing from the edges of their cake tins, nibbling on the edges of these cakes, using his tongue to twirl on the burgeoning buds of their mammary glands until they called out to him for release. Sometimes, he would leave them high and dry and allowed them to feel miserable for the entire week, ignoring them and feigning ignorance, deliberately missing classes or asking a substitute to take his classes, he said although he was happily married and his wife taught at the same institution, she was often very sickly and he was often left to his own devices, that’s why he has the chance to play the field. One bold child almost landed him in boiling water one day whilst 1w was out and officials visited, she opened her legs to show a shaved entrance, and informed them that sir said to give generously and that was all she had to give. According to him, he gave copious explanations and submitted various reports in an attempt to exonerate himself, when he was freed from the charges, he later discovered most of these children were on the PATH programme and he did not have to spend his money at all. According to him he is living up to his schools’ motto where fortitude is the basis to victory and he was at the pharmacy as his favorite student had given him a dose of the clap for which he came to collect medication.
    Some years ago at another school within the same parish, the talk was rampant of some male teachers who were barefaced enough to appoint themselves as undertakers causing the entire education faculty to hang their heads in shame. Several prominent teachers were hauled to court for undertaking below the age of consent, as these present teachers complained that their fore runners were unskilled why they were caught, the truth has a way of coming out and it will, so for all those persons who are providing phone cards, and trumped up grades all for the privilege of being undertakers or aspiring ones, its best to leave well enough alone. Pending next weekend when we chart the trail again, I remain: savannahjoel85 (at) gmail (dot) com

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