[SAV SUSS]:::BANGARANG!

No. 59 Friday, February 26, 2010
Many Jamaicans have a fear of lizards. What is the cause of this dread? They usually start in childhood. Fear may be learnt from another person. Many children grow up seeing their mothers screaming and reacting hysterically to lizards.

   When the spirited woman and her three little boys went to visit her long time male friend at his palatial mansion south east of cave, she was given the entire set of rooms on the east wing for her family, while in the process of preparing herself for bed, she saw a huge croaking lizard making its way stealthily towards her, he stopped, made eye contact and continued on its path in a more hurried manner. A shrill scream rented the stillness of the night as the woman fled from her room, tore down the hallway to the master bedroom where the friend unbeknownst to her ;was enjoying himself immensely in the arms of another woman ,when she rudely interrupted and flung herself under the covers, the little boys who heard the scream and wanted to know what the commotion was about followed suit and stood at the door crying wanting to know why was their mother was screaming. The male friend calmly assured them that their momma saw a lizard and was afraid, without further ado he had to give up his night of conquest to make space on that queen sized bed, for mama was not sleeping in her room alone. The next morning everyone acted as though nothing happened the previous night..
   Another time she was sharing an apartment with a brother who was an employee of an electronic entity, owing to her fear of croaking lizards, she saw several in her bathroom as it was situated under a huge guinep tree with over hanging limbs, she rushed out of hers with dread in her mouth and dashed fearfully across to the bathroom of her room mate, there with trepidation she searched the entire room for signs of croaking lizards but did not see any. She continued her ablutions with a sense of unease and was just beginning to enjoy her bath when she heard a loud splash in the water, she quickly turned around to see one massive lizard on the wall and the other lying on his back in the water flailing helplessly, grabbing her towel and screaming so loudly rivalling the sirens of the fire engine, she blazed through that bathroom door as if the hounds of hell were after her with the water still gushing from the shower slipping and sliding down that hallway, creating a slippery trail to the nearest exit all the while bawling at the top of her lungs for help , she finally reached an access which was the door to her room mate's quarters, finding it open she jumped inside and lunged towards the bed landing behind her room mate, and on top of his female visitor who thought she was being assaulted and a confused tussle ensued with condoms and other accessories being knocked from the night table and the lamp became entangled in the sheets causing smoke to emanate, tripping the fire alarm ,and generally disturbing the neighbours until they had to call the relevant services for assistance, when the tumult died down, there were two nude women in one room and one baffled semi nude male outside providing information to the officers as to why a croaking lizard was the cause of such pandemonium.

                      *****
   As they would like us to believe, the big accident that occurred sometimes ago was not due to any mechanical fault; it was when a passenger spotted a massive forty leg on the driver's headrest making its way towards his head, chipping two pieces of cloth, the female took off her wedged heeled boot and wham! Slapped the centipede, which frightened the driver who was engaged in a lively discussion with his passengers in the front, brakes squealed , tires screeched as the bus came to a sudden stop. Boof came from behind as a vehicle collided with the rear of the bus and a series of resounding "boofs ensued all because of one forty leg.
   The ungrateful driver who was speechless for about fifteen seconds, started cussing that the person who killed the forty leg almost caused his death , and that is them carry forty leg in the bus .In anticipation of next week ended when we mix up and blend I remain,