[THE X-FACTOR]:::LIE TO ME

No. 132 Wednesday, August 25, 2010
By Brian Brown
“The visionary lies to himself the liar only to others.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
Tell me one thing about you, which is absolutely, irrefutably true. Yes you’re pigment and basic features are what they are. But what about you the person is an undeniable fact?

   Not so easy is it? Hmm, I wonder if what we see in the mirror is actually what’s there. And in the absence of the masturbatory vanity we indulge in daily at home, online and in store windows, without a constant visual check of what we want others to see, how would we function? I mean, before there were mirrors and proper hygiene even, what state of mind and behaviour applied? Undoubtedly, we were far less self-conscious and nervy around each other. And there was less reason to lie…to each other and ourselves.
         THE PINOCCHIO COMPLEX
    ‘Honey, does this dress make me look fat?’ Mayday! Mayday! This is a trick question. I repeat, a trick question. Approach with extreme caution! What if we couldn’t hide our true feelings and thoughts? So all the people who truly hate your guts would have to blurt out what lies behind the hypocritical smile. I’ve been there, still live there actually. Ever since I heard I box down this girl at the parish library when I was about 14 or so, I’ve fielded countless accounts of things and people I’ve done and what I am and am not. It’s all good though. It means we’re doing something that makes some people want to talk about us. Right? The goodness or lack thereof of the things we do is for someone else to judge. So, the Pinocchio premise is, if I think you’re stupid or shallow or just plain ugly, there’d be a physical indicator to confirm the truthfulness of my statement or action. It could be that I couldn’t actually tell a lie, and the truth however painful, would always come out. Or, maybe my nose would actually grow or even some other appendage. Hmm, brothers, we lie enough already. Don’t need any extra effort to enlarge our ‘egos’. But think about it a minute. If only for one day a year we were incapable of telling a lie. We could call it Truth Day, but in reality, it would probably end up being April 1. Any question you asked would have to be answered honestly. Man, that’s a scary thought. Imagine being asked the most personal of questions and all your skeletons falling from your closet; the ones about your sexual preferences and fantasies, your worst fears and regrets, your deepest pain. On second thought, maybe that’s not such a good idea.
        HALF TRUTHS AND WHITE LIES
    Where does the truth end, and a lie begins? Stupid question I know, but what exactly is a lie? And since we all do it, especially to ourselves, why is it wrong to do it to others? And importantly, if the truth h more, do we tell it just because others say we should? There are some things that are better left uncovered and unsaid. Like this famous couple’s trivia:
‘So baby, how many sexual partners have you had before me?’ Please! Now one of several things is going to happen in this scenario. 1) The person gives a low figure to seem dignified, which is maybe a third of the real number. This varies from male to female too, for obvious socially acceptable reasons. 2) The respondent is going to act coy and avoid actually answering the question with a ruse about the important thing being together now and what not. Or 3), there might even be an incensed outburst about the appropriateness of asking such personal pre-relationship questions. Retorts like ‘are you questioning my sincerity or character?’ and other overly dramatic over-the-top responses. But for more serious matters that can affect a person’s development and permanent life outlook, the decision to deceive or omit is not as flippant. Picture for example a woman caught between two men, not literally sicko, focus. She loves one bredrin, but the other is a better provider. The problem is she is intimate with both, gets pregnant for one, but sees the other as the secure option. What does she do? Tell the man she loves he’s going to be a father knowing he can’t take care of them, or opt to be with the man she can hopefully grow to love confident their needs will be well taken care of Yeah, mi know bout the jacket argument and all, but this situation right here is a lot more commonplace than we care to admit. But most importantly, how much value will someone in her position, thinking not only about herself place on being truthful? What would you do?
         TELL ME THE TRUTH!
    It hurts man. Bad! When someone truly breaks it down for you and tells you like it really is, it does not feel good. Ever. But it’s often necessary for us to actually see and accept our nature and if we so decide address our issues and foibles. I figure most people don’t actually keep it real. We speak so much BS that after a while it becomes a diplomatic language all by itself. So much so that we become incapable of true honesty with others, much less ourselves. I’ve known fewer than three persons my whole life who spoke exactly what was on their mind. Lucille Lue was one of them. She was a very special, considerate and often misunderstood woman. The truth is all these fancy words and fake personas we create don’t mean squat in the end. All that matters is that hopefully we have at least one other human being we can be ourselves with, not best or worst, just me. The individual ultimately decides what is real and valuable. Therefore the only truth is what we really think, feel and do. The rest is just for show. And that’s the honest truth.B +. -Email comments to brib74 (at) yahoo (dot) com.